Kindred Soul in the Woods
by Raisalis
Summary: Waking up in Hell as a young boy was not something I expected to be doing any time soon. Waking up in a TV show certainly wasn't either. Being shoved in an excluded house in the woods to live in by Satan and the Anti-Christ definitely took the cake though, and now here I am, a safe haven for these screwed up characters and kids from South Park.


**I dragged this out of my computer, and I decided I'm going to continue it. Not a long intro, but it's what I had and it'll suffice till I figure out a plot for this story. I'm starting to remember, but I need to write it down before I do anything else or start writing the first chapter.**

 **I wanted to make a story where the OC comes from our world and already knows everything. It's basically a self-insert. A really, really skewed self-insert. It'll probably border-line Mary Sue-ish tendencies, but I've never been opposed to that unless it turns extremely cringey. Universe breaking powers are alright in small doses, especially with South Park. If you don't like that, I suggest not following this story as it continues onwards. That's your warning.**

 **I don't own South Park.**

Normally, when one wakes up in a place they don't know, they freak out a little before figuring out where they are and what happened to bring them there.

Then again, normally people don't wake up on a rocky plateau surrounded by flames, lava, and shiny black, metallic houses. I really had to wonder how I managed to get myself into such a place, not being able to recall much of anything I'd been doing, and slowly started to entertain the fact that I was either dreaming or seriously tripping out due to some illegal drug that I was forced to take.

 _Okay, basics_ , I thought, wanting to at least make sure I didn't have some huge case of amnesia. _Name: Emma, Gender: Female, Age: 18, Year: 2016, Home: Good ol' sunny California._ Goody. I at least remembered those small, but very important facts, though when I stood up to look around I started to question one of those details.

Looking down at myself, I didn't exactly look like an 18 year old female – I looked more like an 8 year old boy with very feminine features, considering the long hair that went down to my lower back. Why do I say boy?

Well, let's just say you can tell very easily when something's been added to your body that you never had before and leave it at that.

Not wanting to think any more about this, especially since I could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on, I decided to try and get the hell out of… well, what appeared to be the depths of hell. _Burn, baby, burn! So much fire…_

Moving towards the biggest building, I found a door, which was luckily unlocked, and entered inside what appeared to be an office. There were cabinets and papers _everywhere_ – I could literally drown a whole town in paperwork since they lined the walls, the ceiling, and the entire room which stretched on for miles in all directions.

 _Didn't look nearly as big on the outside_ , I thought, walking down the aisle, though I came to a screeching halt once a desk came into view, though it wasn't the desk that caught me off guard. No, it was the large, red _thing_ that sat there and the boy who looked to be the same age as my current body standing next to it. The thing had horns and sported quite the muscular look, which made it pretty damn terrifying, while the boy with black hair and clothes had an upside down cross necklace. The whole thing screamed familiarity, but I just couldn't place it.

I walked closer now, and once I was a few feet away from the desk the thing and the boy finally looked up at me. _Red eyes_ , I couldn't help but notice, _blood red but shiny and dark at the same time_.

"So you're finally awake, huh? Geez, you sure do like your beauty sleep," the thing spoke, his voice not quite as deep as I'd imagined it would be, though it definitely rumbled and was as loud as I'd expected from something it's size. To the side, the boy snickered a bit at what he said, though still not saying anything. The thing looked partially amused as well, continuing with, "You've been asleep for how many years now?"

"Eight years, dad," the boy said, laughing a bit more at my expense.

Wait a minute. Eight years? _I was asleep for eight years?!_

 _...And did that boy just call that…_ thing… _dad?!_ Okay, no, getting sidetracked there, but still, what the actual fuck was happening? I'm definitely leaning more towards 'serious acid trip' instead of 'dream' now.

"…What the fuck?" I stated, quickly flinching at the sound of my own voice. Definitely the voice of an 8 year old boy who has yet to discover the magic of puberty, not that of an 18 year old female. I frowned a bit at the notion, not particularly frustrated by the gender swap but more so the age difference. Going through puberty was not something I wanted to do again, _ever_.

The thing laughed at my outburst, exclaiming, "I think I like you! Got a lot of spunk, there. Well, anyways, I'm sure you have a lot of questions so come take a seat and get comfortable." Noticing the empty chair next to the boy, I hesitated for a moment before slowly walking over and sitting down. _Not much I can do, besides, I'll get some well-deserved answers_ , I thought.

"So, introductions. I'm Satan, ruler of this fiery pit called Hell, and that boy next to you is my son, Damien."

I deadpanned, blinking a few times before the information finally processed and my jaw dropped. _Satan? Damien? Ruler of Hell, which is this place? HOLY FU-_

I quickly turned to look at Damien, seeing the mirth in his eyes and the smirk on his face at my reaction. For being the Anti-Christ, he certainly didn't seem too… evil. Neither did _Satan_ for that matter. Wait wait, I'm getting off track again, think of the important things, like…

"Okay, why the fuck am I here having a chat with Satan and his son, in Hell, in the body of an 8-year old boy?!" I exclaimed, looking back at Satan for an answer. He just smiled, holding up a hand and waiting for me to calm down a bit before speaking.

"To be honest, you technically shouldn't even be here, which is why you aren't going through lots of pain and suffering," he began, "but first I need to establish that yes, you died, and yes, there is Heaven and Hell though it's incredibly different from what you believe it to be." Pausing a moment to let me mull that over, he continued after a nod of understanding and a wave of my hand.

"Okay, so to make this easier, I'm going to be blunt. Your soul belongs to a different dimension, but well, let's just say that sometimes the Heaven and Hell of dimensions get rather occupied. Any overflow souls get spread out to other dimensions, solving that issue, and since it rarely happens having these souls generally doesn't cause a problem. Since they didn't die in the dimension they get sent to, however, they're put in a stasis where they grow until they wake up and can be situated into the realm of the living. Since gender isn't necessarily set in stone for souls, the body can form however it feels, though usually it has to do with whatever will help it situate best to the dimension. Information from the previous life is kept in order to allow easier transition."

I stared a bit, letting the information sink in. It was unbelievable, but everything he said made more sense the more I thought about it, especially once I realized _why_ my body was that of an 8-year old boy.

Big, bad/nice, scientific and smart Satan, and his son Damien, the adorable little 8-year old Anti-Christ. Different dimension. The facts pointed straight to _'Hey, you're in a TV show!'_ because all of these just screamed South Park and illuminated it with shit tons of glowing signs and strobe lights.

This didn't make anything that much easier to accept, but I would have to eventually.

"So basically," I started, "I died, there was no more room in my Hell, so I got sent here and now I'm a boy who gets to live in this fucked up dimension."

"Pretty much."

I held up my hand, slowly turning around and holding my face in my hands. In my brand new, squeaky 8-year old boy voice, I screamed at the top of my lungs…

"…FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

Damien laughed. "We haven't even told you about your soul powers or how you'll be living in a secluded house in the woods yet!"

"…FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"


End file.
